Gossip

So, why is that people feel the need to gossip?

Recently, there have been a few new relationships blossoming in my singles ward. Within minutes of sitting next to a friend, she felt inclined to tell me about all of the speculations that she had about people who were dating in the ward...

* Did you notice that so-and-so were holding hands today?

* So-and-so were sitting by each other again today, so things must be getting serious.

* I just found out that so-and-so have been dating since last Spring... and now they are engaged.

I wonder if the reason why some people enjoy gossip is... so they may live their life through the lives of others. Honestly, I would rather live my life than always looking for gossip to fulfill the life that I am not living.

Fear vs. Faith in My Heart

Recently, I have read the following scripture...

D&C 67: 3

3 Ye endeavored to believe that ye should receive the blessing which was offered unto you; but behold, verily I say unto you there were fears in your hearts, and verily this is the reason that ye did not receive.

Reading this scripture helped me realize that my heart is afraid of relationships. I am so afraid of being hurt again that I push relationships out of my life... except for those relationships that I know from the beginning will not go anywhere. I believe that the reason for being single is that my heart is full of fear...and not faith.

Fear and faith cannot reside together. So, I must choose one and let go of the other one.

The Impact of Names

Last night, I attended a singles activity with some friends. They were talking with a guy whom I have seen before, but don’t really know him. We have only briefly talked a couple of times in the past year or so… more like a passing “hi” than anything else.

As he joined the conversation with my friends and myself, I was surprised to hear him call me by name. Not only was I surprised that he knew my name, but to be addressed within the conversation by name was powerful.

Several years ago, a roommate and I were discussing the power of using someone’s name. She reminded me of a scene in the movie Ever After…

Danielle: Say it again.
Prince Henry: I’m sorry.
Danielle: No. The part where you said my name.

The sound of our name can be one of the sweetest sounds that we can hear. When someone addresses us by name, it makes the conversation more personal and has a positive impact. It also sends the message that the conversation is directly geared towards the person addressed. By addressing someone by name, the sender indicates that it is important for the receiver to receive the message… and that what is being said is a personal message to the receiver.

This is one habit that I would like to develop :)

Hitched or Ditched

Have you seen the new reality TV show called “Hitched or Ditched”?

This show focuses on couples who have been dating for a number of years and haven’t made the commitment to marriage yet. At the beginning of the show, the couple is presented with a wedding invitation… an invitation to their own wedding in one week from that day. They don’t have to make their decision to get married or not until the day of the wedding; at the alter before their family and friends. If they do not get married, then they break up for good.

Having been in a long-term relationship, this show has caught my interest. It isn’t a bad idea to put some pressure on the couple. Otherwise, it is easy to stay in the relationship as it has become comfortable… yet, stagnant. For me, it feels better to be single and moving forward… compared to being in a relationship and watching time pass me by.

Whether we are single or married, it is always good to be moving forward with goals, dreams, schooling, or whatever it is that we are aiming for in life :)

A Story

Once upon a time, there was a girl. One day, a boy asked the girl to go with him to a play and she accepted. The day of the "date" arrived. The boy went over to the girl's house, so they could go to the play. They went to the car and started driving. To the girl's surprise, the boy went to another girl's house and also picked her up. From there, the three of them went to the play. This was a very awkward situation... for the girl was certain that the boy had asked her on a "date." This was the strangest date that she had ever been on -- one boy and two girls. She had never forgotten this experience and has laughed about it over the years.

Recently, the girl has become friends with the boy's sister on FaceBook. The other day, the sister wrote on the wall of her brother telling him that she had two tickets for an upcoming concert. His reply was, "Do you have another ticket that I may have?" The girl couldn't help but laugh as it reminded her of the "date" from many years ago. Was he planning to take both his wife and a date to the concert?

Moral of the story: Remember that a conventional date consists of one boy and one girl :)

President Hinckley's Counsel to Single Sisters

I was going through some old emails and found this one that I would like to share...

President Hinckley's counsel to single sisters in the General Relief Society session of General Conference, in September 2003:

"Now, we have a very diverse group to whom I am speaking. This includes young women who are still in school or who are working. You are single. You are hoping to catch that perfect man. I have yet to see one who is perfect. Aim high, but do not aim so high that you totally miss the target. What really matters is that he will love you, that he will respect you, that he will honor you, that he will be absolutely true to you, that he will give you freedom of expression and let you fly in the development of your own talents. He is not going to be perfect, but if he is kind and thoughtful, if he knows how to work and earn a living, if he is honest and full of faith, the chances are that you will not go wrong, that you will be immensely happy."

Too Much Too Soon

I have recently found myself in the realms of online dating. Over the past week, I have been in contact with a guy who seems pretty level-headed. As we have been asking and answering questions, I have been impressed with his insights and am interested in getting to know him better.

Then yesterday, he asked some questions that have hit a nerve. From his profile, I know that he is divorced and has kids. Yet, I was surprised to have him ask questions about how I would react if one of his kids was rude to me and how I feel about being in a relationship with someone who has kids. Personally, I am taking this one day at a time and still trying to figure out if there is even going to be a first date... let alone meeting the family.

I understand the fear of becoming close to someone and then having them walk away. Yet, I also feel that some things shouldn't be discussed until both parties have an opportunity to discover that they are interested in the other person. Honestly, if I met a great guy and we like each other, I am willing to meet his kids and consider becoming stepmom. Yet, I don't want to think about becoming stepmom to his kids until I know if I even like the guy.

Slow down... and get to know me first :)