The Impact of Names

Last night, I attended a singles activity with some friends. They were talking with a guy whom I have seen before, but don’t really know him. We have only briefly talked a couple of times in the past year or so… more like a passing “hi” than anything else.

As he joined the conversation with my friends and myself, I was surprised to hear him call me by name. Not only was I surprised that he knew my name, but to be addressed within the conversation by name was powerful.

Several years ago, a roommate and I were discussing the power of using someone’s name. She reminded me of a scene in the movie Ever After…

Danielle: Say it again.
Prince Henry: I’m sorry.
Danielle: No. The part where you said my name.

The sound of our name can be one of the sweetest sounds that we can hear. When someone addresses us by name, it makes the conversation more personal and has a positive impact. It also sends the message that the conversation is directly geared towards the person addressed. By addressing someone by name, the sender indicates that it is important for the receiver to receive the message… and that what is being said is a personal message to the receiver.

This is one habit that I would like to develop :)

Hitched or Ditched

Have you seen the new reality TV show called “Hitched or Ditched”?

This show focuses on couples who have been dating for a number of years and haven’t made the commitment to marriage yet. At the beginning of the show, the couple is presented with a wedding invitation… an invitation to their own wedding in one week from that day. They don’t have to make their decision to get married or not until the day of the wedding; at the alter before their family and friends. If they do not get married, then they break up for good.

Having been in a long-term relationship, this show has caught my interest. It isn’t a bad idea to put some pressure on the couple. Otherwise, it is easy to stay in the relationship as it has become comfortable… yet, stagnant. For me, it feels better to be single and moving forward… compared to being in a relationship and watching time pass me by.

Whether we are single or married, it is always good to be moving forward with goals, dreams, schooling, or whatever it is that we are aiming for in life :)

A Story

Once upon a time, there was a girl. One day, a boy asked the girl to go with him to a play and she accepted. The day of the "date" arrived. The boy went over to the girl's house, so they could go to the play. They went to the car and started driving. To the girl's surprise, the boy went to another girl's house and also picked her up. From there, the three of them went to the play. This was a very awkward situation... for the girl was certain that the boy had asked her on a "date." This was the strangest date that she had ever been on -- one boy and two girls. She had never forgotten this experience and has laughed about it over the years.

Recently, the girl has become friends with the boy's sister on FaceBook. The other day, the sister wrote on the wall of her brother telling him that she had two tickets for an upcoming concert. His reply was, "Do you have another ticket that I may have?" The girl couldn't help but laugh as it reminded her of the "date" from many years ago. Was he planning to take both his wife and a date to the concert?

Moral of the story: Remember that a conventional date consists of one boy and one girl :)

President Hinckley's Counsel to Single Sisters

I was going through some old emails and found this one that I would like to share...

President Hinckley's counsel to single sisters in the General Relief Society session of General Conference, in September 2003:

"Now, we have a very diverse group to whom I am speaking. This includes young women who are still in school or who are working. You are single. You are hoping to catch that perfect man. I have yet to see one who is perfect. Aim high, but do not aim so high that you totally miss the target. What really matters is that he will love you, that he will respect you, that he will honor you, that he will be absolutely true to you, that he will give you freedom of expression and let you fly in the development of your own talents. He is not going to be perfect, but if he is kind and thoughtful, if he knows how to work and earn a living, if he is honest and full of faith, the chances are that you will not go wrong, that you will be immensely happy."

Too Much Too Soon

I have recently found myself in the realms of online dating. Over the past week, I have been in contact with a guy who seems pretty level-headed. As we have been asking and answering questions, I have been impressed with his insights and am interested in getting to know him better.

Then yesterday, he asked some questions that have hit a nerve. From his profile, I know that he is divorced and has kids. Yet, I was surprised to have him ask questions about how I would react if one of his kids was rude to me and how I feel about being in a relationship with someone who has kids. Personally, I am taking this one day at a time and still trying to figure out if there is even going to be a first date... let alone meeting the family.

I understand the fear of becoming close to someone and then having them walk away. Yet, I also feel that some things shouldn't be discussed until both parties have an opportunity to discover that they are interested in the other person. Honestly, if I met a great guy and we like each other, I am willing to meet his kids and consider becoming stepmom. Yet, I don't want to think about becoming stepmom to his kids until I know if I even like the guy.

Slow down... and get to know me first :)

Don't Get It

Last night, I was talking with a girl in my singles ward. She is fairly new in the ward. Shortly after she started attending the ward, one of the guys started dating her. She seems to always be sitting next to her boyfriend, so I have only talked with her a few times. Even so, I think she is really cute, nice, fun, and a bit reserved. She's a darling girl.

So, last night when I saw this girl sitting alone, I went over to say hi. I didn't sit next to her as I thought she was saving it for her boyfriend. As the night continued, I never saw her boyfriend. Towards the end of the evening, I had a chance to talk with her again. I mentioned that I was surprised to not see her boyfriend in attendance. That is when I learned that he had broken up with her on Monday night. I mentioned that I saw them sitting next to each other on Sunday and everything looked like it was going great. She responded, "That's what I thought." The breakup completely threw her off guard as she had no idea it was coming.

I realize that I don't know the whole story, but I am a bit shocked. Here is this beautiful and nice girl... and the relationship ended abruptly. I think what surprises me the most is that almost 24 hours prior to the breakup, I saw them sitting by each other and looking extremely happy with the relationship. The good news is that this girl seems to have a good head on her shoulders. She's struggling with the emotions, but she's allowing herself to continue moving forward in her life.

Traditions

A few months ago, I learned about some of the fun traditions that my friends do for their kids. My first thought was that if I was married and had kids, then I could adopt some of these fun traditions. Yet, being single, it isn't worth the hassle to do anything fun for the holidays.

That is when I realized that just because I am single... that shouldn't stop me from living life to the fullest and creating some fun traditions for myself. Not only that, but traditions are not reserved for only the holidays. Nothing is stopping me from creating, simple traditions to celebrate life on a daily basis. For instance, one idea is to eat Sunday dinner on my china plates every week.... and why not also have a special dinner for every Sunday. By doing so, this can be a simple reminder that Sunday is not an oridinary day... it is a day to celebrate Christ and remember Him.

As I thought more about it, I realized that I already have some annual traditions that I share with my sister. Every year, we participate and in the Susan G. Komen's Race For the Cure 5k Walk... and we also attend the Utah Shakespearean Festival.

Traditions help bring meaning and enjoyment into our lives. Married, single, young, old... we can all create traditions and celebrate life!